My! Hasn’t it been a while.

Like so many blogs, I bet you thought this one had given up the ghost.

The writer got bored and stopped posting. Well, you ‘d be sort of right.

The actual truth is that I’ve had a good Summer and I haven’t been inside a church for a couple of months. At this point Christian readers will gasp, or possibly ‘tut’. Some will no doubt nod their heads.

Why haven’t I been to church? My search for a new spiritual home left me a bit drained and didn’t give me the answers I was looking for. I know that’s a deeply selfish response, but I’m trying to be honest here. I found good brothers and sisters in every church I visited. I found dedicated men and women of God preaching the Word, but I also found too many people absorbed with the unimportant and in playing the ‘numbers game’. I found people who wanted to ‘do church’. And surely that’s not the idea.

Have I missed it? I wish I could say that I have. I really do. But I’m left asking, what is there to miss? Too harsh? I read the Bible to the same extent I always have (if you’re looking for a benchmark here, the answer is – not enough). I pray. I read other Christian writings – from Spurgeon to Wigglesworth (now there’s a combination) and an excellent book on laments. I worship, I talk with other believers, I have ‘fellowship’ (whatever that means). I even visit ecclesiastical buildings occasionally – I love a good cathedral. So atmospheric.

And there you have it. All the things I’ve heard other ‘backsliders’ say over the years. I’ve been trying to remember what I said to people when I heard them make these comments, and two possibilities shock me. Either I gave them a convincing argument why being in membership of a church organisation was a good idea and I have since forgotten what I said, or I said nothing at all.

I have rediscovered weekends. I have – literally – cleared my life of church stuff. I’ve reclaimed everything from garage space to hard-drive space.

But has this left me in a dangerous spiritual state?